Hey, did y’all just see 2024 fly by? I think it was running about 100 mph! It’s hard to believe there are only two months left in this year – and those two months happen to be the most hectic! And whether you’re deep frying a turkey or roasting a ham, holiday meals can be a joyous occasion, but they can also be a source of extreme stress. There are ways to keep that stress at bay and ensure a smooth, enjoyable experience (well, as much as possible anyway…we all have a Cousin Eddie somewhere in the family tree). Here are some tips to help avoid common pitfalls:

Plan Ahead: Make a detailed menu and shopping list well in advance. Be sure to “shop” your kitchen or pantry before heading to the grocery store; you may already have some items and there’s no need to purchase what you already have – we’re trying to save money! Also, purchases don’t have to be made all at one time. Purchase non-perishable items (canned vegetables, bread crumbs, baking ingredients) here and there, so it’s not such a large purchase all at once. Thawing out food also takes planning. On average, it takes 24 hours per 5 pounds to thaw frozen food items. Let’s say the turkey Uncle Bob is frying is 20 pounds. It will take at least 4 days to thaw. And please, for the love of all things food safety, do not thaw your turkey (or any food) in your bathtub. The safest way to thaw food is in the refrigerator.

Assign Jobs and Tasks: If you’re like me, it’s difficult to hand over the reins and let someone else do something. However, it will take away some of the stress and keep you from being completely frazzled if tasks or jobs are divided among family (and friends) to lighten your workload; this can include shopping, cooking, setting the table, and cleaning up. Trust me, because it has taken me a while to learn this, everything doesn’t have to be perfect! So what if the mashed potatoes didn’t make it into great grandma’s serving dish like you wanted? What matters is the time spent with loved ones and the memories you make, and that can’t happen if you’re worried and stressed the entire time.

Prepare Ahead: There is little that compares to being able to prepare as much as possible in advance, so you’re not toiling in the kitchen all morning the day of. Now when I say prepare ahead, that doesn’t just mean making a complete dish, it also includes doing the prep work for recipes. Let’s say, for example, you have recipes that call for the same ingredients (onions, carrots, and celery come to mind), you can prep those ingredients up to 2 days in advance and store them in the refrigerator. You can also pre-measure dry ingredients for baking recipes. A few things to keep in mind when preparing dishes ahead of time: after cooking, cool food quickly by putting it into smaller, shallow containers and stirring frequently; foods immediately refrigerated in the dish used for cooking won’t cool fast enough because the dish will stay hot; tightly wrap cooled foods to prevent contamination.

Set the Table: Remember I talked about assigning jobs and tasks? This would be a great task for older children. Even younger children can make creative place markers. Set the table a day or two before the meal to reduce stress on the day of. This will also allow you to make sure you have everything you need.

Create a Relaxing Atmosphere: Play soft music and dim the lights to create a calm ambiance. This will help guests to feel relaxed and enjoy the meal. It is absolutely okay to set polite conversation rules and expectations for children. This will help to maintain a peaceful atmosphere and prevent any disagreements. No one, and I mean absolutely no one, wants to listen to two relatives bicker and argue the entire meal!

Serve Buffet-Style: If you have the space available, a buffet can help avoid crowding the table and allow guests to serve themselves at their convenience. This can also help to reduce stress in the kitchen.

Clean Up as You Go: Do this especially as you are cooking. This is yet again another opportunity to assign someone a job. Assign specific cleanup duties to different people. This will help to ensure that the cleanup is done efficiently and fairly. Don’t be afraid to encourage guests to help with cleanup throughout the meal – they can at the very least rinse the plate they were using. This will help to reduce the amount of work that needs to be done after the meal.

Relax and Enjoy: Lastly, take time to relax and savor the memories of the quality time spent with loved ones. When you hear people say it really is the little things that matter, they aren’t talking about making sure the sprig of rosemary is placed at a perfect 45 degree angle on top of the roast for decoration. It’s the laughter heard after a joke told by a not-so-funny uncle, the memories made during after-dinner conversations, singing holiday songs horribly off key…on purpose, or creating new family (and friend) traditions – these are the things that truly matter.

Let’s avoid pulling an Ellen Griswald (she said “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.”). With a little planning and preparation, you can transform your holiday meal into a stress-free and enjoyable gathering. So, gather your loved ones, set the table, and enjoy a delicious and heartwarming celebration. For more information, contact Jessie Jones, Extension Family and Consumer Sciences Agent, at 910-862-4591 or jessie_jones@ncsu.edu.